Quinn
by Pinkqueen
Summary: A series of Harley Quinn/Joker related one-shots.
1. Cut The Deck

**A/N: Hey. Dipping my toe into the world of Batman here. I know Harley's origins have already been done, but this is mostly me just wanting a second opinion on my writing. Please let me know if you would like me to continue.**

**Disclaimer: I own the fortune teller, but that's it. Harley belongs to DC.**

**Reassurance: I do not use tarot cards, I don't even know if they're accurate, but I thought they would make for fantastic foreshadowing. Actual tarot readers, I apologize if I got anything wrong.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Cut the deck, dear." The young fortune teller slid the cards over the table to the doctor sitting there. She did as she was told and passed them back. The fortune teller, Madame Zaroff, turned over the first card to make the top point of the diamond layout; the romance life. "The upright fool. I see pleasure, passion, a new adventure. Let's continue." The second card representing finances was laid down. "The reverse page of pentacles. Rebellion, luxury, opposing the thoughts or ideas of others." Next was the health and happiness card, the bottom of the diamond. "Another reverse page, swords this time. You won't be well, and you'll be with a cunning person who will spring many unexpected events on you. Now, for the final card." The last card that went to the left of the finance card represented the career. "The reverse ten of wands. You'll be doing something that requires you to be clever, with lots of strength and energy and -this is odd- the desire to ruin the happiness of others."<p>

At the doctor's raised eyebrow Zaroff merely shrugged and said, "It's in the cards, babe" then took a long drag off the cigarette in her hand. "That'll be $35." she breathed out, blowing smoke into the young doctor's face. She coughed and began to rummage through her purse. Pulling out a twenty, a ten, and a five, Harleen laid the money on the table and quickly left the smoky room. Zaroff put out her cigarette and went to pick up her deck, but she noticed something odd. The top card on the deck she was drawing from was an ordinary playing card. She flipped it over and looked at it, wondering how it got mixed in with her tarot cards. She shrugged and threw it over her shoulder. Gathering her cards, she walked away from the table, taking one final glance at the joker card staring up at her from the floor.


	2. Congratulations

**A/N: Hey! So, I've decided to make this sort of a dumping ground for any Batman plot bunnies that enter my mind. It's unlikely that any of these will be continued, and more than likely that they already have.**

**The first one has. It's called "Mad Love". I'm positive you've heard of it. This one has, too, in a way. It's called "Maybe Baby". It's on this site somewhere and it's VERY good, but I can't seem to remember who wrote it.**

**Oh, well. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, sadly enough. I do, however own Dr. Auburn. She's mine. If you like her and if you're a _Castle _fan, I recommend another story of mine, _Only Here to __Watch_.**

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><p>"You're not taking this seriously." the doctor tried to reason. She sat at a metal table bolted to the floor across from one of Gotham's most famous faces.<p>

The Joker leaned forward in his stainless steel chair, also bolted to the floor, as far as he could with his hands cuffed behind him. "Oh, come now Dr. Auburn! Why so serious?" he jested with a sinister gleam in his eyes.

She adjusted her glasses and warned, "Mr. Joker. I-" She was interrupted by his world-famous sick cackle.

"Mr. Joker? HA! The last doctor to call me that ended up coming home with me!" he laughed.

"Ah, yes. Your girlfriend, Dr. Quinzel." she sat up in her chair a bit. "How is Harley? Is she up to anything? She's managed to avoid capture for a while now."

His smile faded slightly and he sat back in his chair. "She's lying low. Sadly enough, she's my only hope of getting out of this hell-hole." He smirked. "She'll come though. Poor things obsessed with me."

Dr. Auburn raised an eyebrow. "Really? If she's as 'obsessed' with you as you say, then why hasn't she broken you out yet?" His smile disappeared completely. "I mean, you've been in here for... what?" she checked her file, "nine months, now? Strange timing, if you ask me."

"First, nobody asked you." He frowned. "And second, what the hell are you talking about?"

Without missing a beat, she asked, "When was the last time you and Miss Quinn had sexual relations?"

His upset demeanor grew, but he managed a small smirk. "I hardly see how that's relevant."

"Humor me." she stated bluntly.

He snorted. "Cute. All right. It was a couple of days before I was caught. But I don't see what you're getting at..." he trailed off. His eyes widened as he connected the dots, while the doctor across the table simply sat, watching. She pressed the button under the table that triggered the silent alarm. As guards came in and escorted the stunned criminal to his cell, she called out, "Oh, and one more thing." She paused, waiting a few seconds for him to make eye contact.

"Congratulations."


End file.
